Crap

Really. It just a temporary.

Its like a tattoo that you always crave, you put it on and feel really excited at first, but as it gets longer, its start to fade, you start to worried, and when it totally disappear, you are no longer remember that you once had that feeling.

I know i did the mean thing, but this is not how i want things to be. One day i woke up and realize that it was totally insane. Untill today i dont know what to do.

A few days ago, i was totally hopin' that maybe we could meet someday. And the power of prayer was really strong, that what i ask is already come just in hours. But a couple day ago, i had the the magical situation that change my perspective after all this time. I deserve a hard slap. It was painful, but it give me peaceful. 

I feel wrong about this morning, i shouldnt do this. Ohmygod, i feel so bad on my self:( 

Im totally being an asshole

Hope everything that we did just stay in line and i will never....ever, thingking out of the line.

2....1...

Its already happening and its been 5 days. Im missin you this soon. Thought i will never be able to thingking of you, but lately i catch myself for wondering and dreaming about your existence that no longer here. Can we just....

3

Actually its sad when i think about it way too hard like its not supposed to be happen right now in this time, which making everything more complicated than the first time i ever thought. You know something will always last, and will always lose. Will always end, will always start. I thought when we stay in one place for a long time we will find our comfort zone, we used to get stick with it everyday. In the best day or even on the worst one. Untill it get stink and all i wanna do is thinking outside the box. Like i've been searching for the answer in this very short time. I found sun. I was never thought that i have the coldest heart that everyone are afraid of touching me. But you did it, you came in non-explaination way that somehow im falling for that reason. The way your brighten your eyes and how you smile with your eyes. I was totally fall for that thing. A day goes by and seems it breaks the wall that i've been build after all this time. There's no distance to seein you from this far and i'm glad for our little conversation was. You warm my heart without even try, you have steal everything that i've been keep inside with myself. I found freedom in you, just like an animal that run out from the zoo. And this situation make me blame the situation itself. But, everything is gonna end soon. I've got nothing to do about it and i still have the another weight that i should carry before. Anything that we did was so amazing, im so mesmerize with the way you always insult me. In the other side, i was kind of dissapointed untill im questioning myself, was it just temporary, was it just something that gonna passed away?

For the first time in my life i feel so connected in a first impression, first eye contact, and first conversation with someone. Its not kind of feeling that goes around somewhere. It stay. Untill this day.

You know im no longer see you again, but i hope everything stay in line. I hope we could reach the dream we always talked about and seeing ourself in a different point of view, soon. If i could pray, i wish i had a lot of day with you. And im so sorry that somehow you cant see me clearly as a something you always crave.

Idk what i talking about.

I hope the destiny belong to us and no matter what journey keep us going, i believe you feel the connection too. 

I dont want to count but i have

Maybe its easier to close my eyes 

To not see those beautiful eyes

Because everythime i see your eyes

I fall that hard

Im falling for your eyes

But they dont know me yet

3........